Top 5 Reasons You Are Not Getting Laid

Jim Wade Author

Not Getting Laid

In order to get laid more often, some bad habits need to get eliminated. Written below is a list of poor lifestyle choices that prevent guys from having consistent sex. We can all stand to benefit from removing anti-seductive behavior, and the first step to completing that is by gaining awareness of those behavioral patterns.

Here are five reasons why a majority of guys are not getting laid.


Reason #5 – Low testosterone

According to a 2011 research study supported by the Royal Netherlands Academy of Arts and Sciences, “indeed research in humans has shown that T (testosterone) is positively related to the number of opposite sex partners a young man has had.” Two other studies (Bogaert and Fisher, 1995, and Peters et al, 2008) also confirmed that higher testosterone levels resulted in more sexual partners with sample sizes of 215 and 119 male students, respectively.

Why are men with higher testosterone getting freaky more often? This can be explained by the benefits associated with testosterone. One benefit from high levels of testosterone is an increased libido. This increase will generate the motivation to put in the effort to get more sexual partners.

For example, when you get a strong inclination to eat, you begin searching for food. When you feel a strong inclination for mating, you are more likely to search for an opportunity to mate. High levels of testosterone will cause that strong inclination to materialize.

If anybody is enduring the harsh winters of a long dry spell, we recommend them to get their testosterone levels checked.


Reason #4 – Not playing the numbers game

The numbers game states that in order to get the highest amount of sexual partners, a person needs to make the most amount of seduction attempts. If the goal is to have sex once a weekend, the numbers game specifies that they should approach enough women until that goal is accomplished.

Results require effort. The numbers game demands effort. This game is played throughout all walks of life. It takes effect when submitting resumes for jobs, finding a house, and choosing a university to attend. To achieve the best results, multiple applications need to be sent. Each application is a number. Seducing a person is no different. There are many adult hookup sites with free trials that allow you to play the numbers game, start doing this to increase your chances of getting laid.

Rejection is inevitable. Success depends on how many rejections the human will can withstand without getting deterred.

Expect around an 85-95% rejection rate. If it is any higher than that, other habits on this list need to be remedied.


Reason #3 – Self-absorption

It’s great to talk about oneself when prompted, but there is a limit to adhere to. For every detail that gets revealed, a conversational partner should get a chance to reveal a piece of information about themselves, too. Nobody wants to hear a person talk about themselves all day. Refrain from being that person that talks about their job, their ex then their pets and then their hobbies.

The goal of a seductive conversation is not to reveal the most amount of personal details. The goal is to make all communication as enjoyable as possible. Always be considerate of this fact. Internally, ask “how can I make this conversation more enjoyable?” instead of “what else can I talk about?”

How do I make a discussion more enjoyable? Here are a few tactics:

  1. Observational humor – this involves pointing out something nearby that is funny. For example, if a DJ is changing songs every minute, say “what do you think of this music? I think the DJ is getting paid per song.”
  2. Interesting short stories – can the story be made relevant to the current topic being discussed? If so, make it short, sweet, and simple. Above all, make it enticing. Make it to where the listener wants to either participate in the story or hear more about it.


Reason #2 – Won’t stop talking even after sealing the deal

I have seen this first hand, and it was painful to watch. A buddy and I were at his place with some girls. We had just gotten back from a party. One of the girls was really into my friend, and I was in the unfortunate position of distracting/entertaining the friend.

Instead of bringing this ready and willing girl to his room, he sat her down on the couch and began talking endlessly.

He started talking about snowboarding. This girl was touching and rubbing his hand while he continued to talk about snowboarding. 30 minutes later, he was still talking about snowboarding. I couldn’t believe it. The girl eventually said that she was tired and went home.

When it is past 2 AM, and a girl has shown major signs of attraction, there isn’t a need to oversell. She has already decided to buy.

This goes without being said, but nearly all talking points become irrelevant past 2 AM. It has to either be sex related or a health related emergency for me to care about something that late.

Realize when the deal has been sealed. Once that happens, say no more. Save the snowboarding talk for another time.


Reason #1 – Failure to take care of oneself

There is a lot to unpack with this reason, because taking care of yourself includes:


  • Dressing nicely – to illustrate a point on how important style is, compare a man that looks like they just rolled out of bed to a model in a GQ magazine. If anyone is constantly getting rejected without being able to say a word, the quality of their wardrobe should be re-examined.


  • Exercising – this is important for confidence and hormonal health.


  • Eating healthy – a poor diet can lead to obesity or, at the very least, lethargy.


  • Can financially afford basic personal needs – if you don’t have money then it will be nearly impossible to take care of yourself. This is by far the most important aspect to have under control when searching for a romantic partner.


  • Cleanliness – if a car or a house is dirty, it will be a major turn off. Imagine if a restaurant were extremely dirty, would you be hesitant to eat there? Similarly, a girl will be hesitant to have sex in a dirty room.


  • Good personal hygiene – nasty body odor will surely repel anybody that gets close to it.


Honorable mentions

Extra reason #1 – losing the attraction during the texting phase of the relationship. For examples on how to upgrade texting skills, read this article


[RELATED: 3 Techniques To Get From Texting To Sex].


Extra reason #2 – Standards are too high. This mental block can be difficult to overcome. Make it a personal challenge to not look at any women online for a day or twice a week. It’s easy to obtain a distorted view of beauty during the constant search through perfect 10s on Instagram.

I know that everybody has standards, but in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle with frequent sex, these standards need to be realistic to what a man can attract.