8+ Ways To Handle Rejection
“It’s not you, it’s me.” Ouch, just because that phrase gets used all the time doesn’t make it hurt any less. Whether you’ve spent a little or a lot of time pursuing someone when they just don’t feel the same way it can leave us all hurt and sometimes confused. Based on gender alone the way we feel and handle rejection can be extremely different. Men often take rejection as a reflection of their masculinity, whereas women’s responses are more emotional. The facts are, almost everyone will be rejected at some point in their lives and how we handle that rejection can greatly improve how we cope moving forward. We’ve compiled our best ways to handle rejection, put it behind you, and keep shooting your shot.
[Related: How to deal with a breakup]
Ask her why
Immediately, during an already hard conversation, if you have a moment ask her why. Finding out the reasons behind her decision can be exactly what you need to not be rejected in the future. If the opportunity does not come up reach out to her after the fact to inquire. Don’t ask her why in the sense that you think you can fix the relationship but more so to gain knowledge about where her thoughts were at. Great ways to go about this conversation can be something like this. “Hey, I respect how you are feeling and understand that I may have not been the best fit for you. If you could tell me anything that helped lead to your decision I think it could help me for relationships to come.” This type of conversation will help give you insight into her thoughts, closure, and offer some great advice you may want to take into your next attempt.
Give it some space
When someone doesn’t feel how we do, it can be hard to keep our minds off of them. We recommend giving some space immediately following a rejection, so you should get out there and find sex near you. Sometimes it can be hard to avoid someone if they work with you or are in your life but if at all possible following rejection space can be the best thing. Try to not text, call, or bother someone that recently decided to go another direction. They may be experiencing loss as well, as you might have been someone they were close with as well.
Treat yo self
If you’re feeling down in the dumps, treating yourself could really help. Buy yourself something nice, take yourself to dinner, or schedule a massage. Give yourself some of the love you wanted to give to someone else. Taking some time for yourself can help make you feel better and new things never hurt, According to scientific studies, shopping is proven to lift your mood.
Hit the gym
The revenge body is real and endorphins are even more so. Hitting the gym post rejection can have a doubly positive impact on how we feel post rejection. Hitting the gym will not only make you look better but feel better as well. Endorphins can give your brain the boost it needs to feel positive during a hard time. Knowing you’re bettering yourself rather than wallowing will help your confidence soar. A little rage running can be exactly what you need to get back in the game.
Don’t act upset
The worst thing a guy can do is act upset when a woman has rejected him. You may feel that she lead you on and you may not agree with her but at the end of the day, her feelings are her feelings. By being cool about her rejection you might actually make her reconsider and also make your fellow men proud. No girl wants to feel like you depended on her alone and she was the only fish in your sea. Be nice and cool and she might start thinking you have more options on the table to consider.
Surround yourself with love
Get your friends together for a night out. Knowing that you have the support of loved ones can help you get over someone tremendously. Let your friends know you’re feeling down if you are and let them try to boost you up. Who knows, a night on the town with your boys might put you in the zone to be wing manned into someone new. As the old saying goes, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” We don’t really think that’s the best way, but a little distraction could be great.
Let yourself be sad
Rejection hurts and that’s okay. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Have a night in, watch a movie, wallow if you want. By allowing yourself to grieve you might actually get over it faster. Sometimes when we just try to push our feelings down and not face them they linger on for longer than needed. By allowing yourself to process your feelings in a healthy way you’ll be back on the horse before you know it.
Drinking can lead to some bad decisions before taking this advice make sure you’re not in a situation to drunken call, text, or show up at her house. This is very important. Getting drunk might make you feel a little better at the moment. Allow yourself a few drinks to take the edge off. But in the morning when you wake up and feel like crap use that low to go for a run and get back on track.
Learn from it & try again
The best way you can deal with rejection is to learn from it. Take her reasons for what they are and channel them into bettering yourself. Sometimes people just don’t have that “it” factor and that is okay. There are tons of people out there for you to try again with. But also don’t forget at the end of the day you may have done nothing wrong and it may truly have been “her not you.” Don’t let rejection keep you from playing the game. Use what you’ve learned and the next one just might be the one.