How to Maintain A Friend with Benefits

Jim Wade Author

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A friend with benefits is what everybody wants and few people have. If you go looking for it, most people won’t find it, not because they can’t but because they don’t know how to maintain the relationship. If you follow the steps in this article you can increase your chances of finding a winner and keeping her for as long as you want.

Obviously, these kinds of relationships have existed forever, but they are becoming very popular in the last decade. Do you remember the movie “Friends with Benefits”, starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake? If you’re looking to jump on this trend and enhance your sex life you have to change the way you think about relationships.

Many people make the mistake of thinking of a relationship like this to be a precursor to going “steady.” Rarely do these relationships turn into a real relationship, so the best thing for everyone is to keep your head screwed on right and just have fun.


What is a friend with benefits?

A friend with benefits, also known as a fuck buddy, is a mutual acquaintance that you have an agreed-upon arrangement to have casual sex. Casual sex is great for some people and very uncomfortable for others. Maintaining this kind of relationship is difficult, but with the right kind of thinking, you can continue to have a relationship like this for years.


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Typically, these relationships don’t last very long because sex has an emotional element to it. Eventually, someone is going to want to have a relationship at some point. So the rule of thumb is don’t fall in love to make it last.  This is tough and despite what you may assume, it’s not just women that fall in love. Whether you want to believe this or not, men easily become prey to their emotions when sex is involved.


Rules of maintaining a fuck friend

Maintaining a friend with benefits relationship is a delicate process, but very necessary to maintain your sanity and hers. The worst thing that can happen is somebody falls in love, so here is a strategy to keep your arrangement in the green. Remember, this strategy may not cover all the rules you need to know, so keep your wits about you and you’ll improve your chances of continuing to stay “together.”


Rule #1: Always be upfront about the rules of the relationship

Never break the rules at all costs. If you choose to continue the arrangement with your friend with benefits, creating rules like how many calls per week are allowed, whether or not dates are ok, and how often you two should hookup is essential.

If you’re spending too much time together, you’ll either break up or fall in love. It’s human nature. People generally want to feel the love of a partner. If you nurture that and fail to keep your distance the love with blossom into a relationship and you’re friends with benefits relationship will become something more.

Another thing to consider is where you meet up. If either of you are in a relationship, that will create more of an issue if you don’t plan your meets effectively.

Try to put yourself in places that won’t lead to relationship activities. Meeting at her house might lead to you becoming her boyfriend. Think about other options like Airbnb or perhaps a hotel. This can get expensive, but so can a relationship.


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Rule #2: Keep sporadic meets to a minimum

This one is an extension of the last rule, but it’s so important to maintaining your relationship that it needs more explaining. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Your schedule and her schedule needs to remain the same to avoid incidents with other people. Friends with benefits relationships need to remain secretive even if you’re not in steady relationships, especially from your friends. The curiosity of the relationship will make things difficult to keep under wraps if you’re meeting at your house or hers.

Her neighbors will find out what’s going on and she could get an unwanted “reputation.” These kinds of things are taken seriously by older people, religious fanatics, and children. Who knows what these kinds of people will do. At the very least, they will talk to other neighbors, friends, and co-workers about you and your taboo relationship.


Rule #3: Use Snapchat

Protect yourself and your friends with benefits relationship or your affair, by using unconventional ways of communicating. If you’re still calling and texting you’re behind in the times, and you’re leaving evidence for others to find. Why leave evidence about your relationship if you don’t have to.

Keeping your conversations confidential is easiest on Snapchat, so learn it, love it, and live it. Everybody knows that the conversations disappear after they are viewed, but that’s not the real benefit. The real benefit is the ability to text, call, video chat all in one place.

Snapchat is the best way to communicate with your friends with benefits. It’s more casual, more descriptive, and more fun, and it’s a perfect way to steam things up before you meet. She can send you some sexy pics and videos (without fearing them getting all over the web), before a hot date to get both of you in the mood. Try it! You’ll see.


Rule #4: Use a condom

Yes, condoms still suck, but very needed in friends with benefits relationships. If you’re messing around with a bunch of women at the same time you have to take precaution. Plus, who knows if she’s really taking her birth-control pills when she says she does.

Who knows what goes on inside the mind of a woman? I had a friend with benefits, a few months ago that told me she didn’t want a relationship with me but she wanted me to get her pregnant. Huh?!?!

She said, I didn’t have to be around and didn’t have to contribute financially at all. As you can probably imagine, that relationship was over right after that conversation. Next time, you’re with a new woman just wrap it up and call it a day.


Last thoughts

All these rules are great and will help you maintain your friends with benefits or fuck buddy relationships, but without learning to adapt to your environment and changing situations you’ll struggle to keep the relationship going.

Making sure you’re both on the same page is the toughest part. You need to be a team and remember that even if you don’t want to give your relationship a name, it’s still a relationship.


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